Selfish girlfriend and friends stick boyfriend with $550 dinner bill despite having no prior discussion about who would pay: 'I didn't let the other guests leave before paying'

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    Cheezburger Image 10417132032
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    AITA for refusing to pay for my girlfriend's birthday dinner?
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    So it was my girlfriend's birthday last week and she decided to have a birthday dinner over the weekend and invited her friends and some family that lived nearby. It was a good time. and we all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.
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    At the end of the night it came time to pay the bill and everyone just started to pack up and leave. I thought they forgot about the bill so I called them all back but my girlfriend said that I should let them go. So I stupidly thought she had saved up to pay the bill. But no she expected me to pay it.
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    She said that I easily make more than anyone there and I should just cover it as a birthday gift. She said this like it was a small bill. The bill (translating to USD) was $550. Obviously a lot of money. This is so much money Most of the cost was alcohol which I had one glass of wine because I still had to drive. So I said no, paid for my share and my girlfriend and the tip and left.
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    That really soured my mood. When we got back to my place my girlfriend was a bit tipsy and wanted to stay up but I just said I was tired and went to bed. I avoided her on Sunday and I woke up early before her to go to the office today and have just been ignoring her messages. Some of our friends are saying I shouldn't be mad because it's not even that much for me because I
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    make (translated to USD) a six figure salary. I still don't think it was fair to spring that on me though. The thing is, I wouldn't have had a problem had she just asked. But the fact that she made it a surprise just irked me. I'm thinking that perhaps I'm too caught up on the principle of the issue rather than the actions themselves. Edut: I didn't let the other guests leave. before paying.
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    Ok-Horror-1049 22h ago • • NTA. But this again... I wish I could tell EVERYONE IN THE WORLD- before a group dinner, make sure you know what the plans are for the check! Your GF was the AH for not discussing this with you prior and just expecting you to go along. You need to stop avoiding her, sit
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    down, and discuss your boundaries (whatever they may be) in regard to her expectations towards YOUR finances and how/ if/when she is allowed to avail herself of them (especially w/o your prior consent).
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    • jemoss9 22h ago. This right here! My question is did the girlfriend tell the other attendants that OP would be paying or were they AHs too who just assumed he would be?
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    SomeoneYouDontKn... 22h ago NTA. A low six figure salary isn't that much in this day and age, and $550 for a dinner is a ton of money, no matter how much you make. It sounds like you need to find yourself a set of friends who don't view you as a gold mine just because you happen to have a good job. If they want to live
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    paycheck to paycheck, that's on them. You shouldn't be blowing all your money on your girlfriend, her family, and your friends. You should be saving up for a house for the sake of your future family, which may or may not include this girl. Based on this latest interaction, I advise you to go with the "not" option.
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    tinymi3 22h ago • • yikes NTA - I have a 6-figure salary and *I* still think $500 is a lot to spring on someone! some kind of entitled for her to just expect you'd cover the entire bill for *her* friends and family. Assuming that your SO will just cover an entire dinner - without even asking - is pretty bananas. What she did was presumptuous and disrespectful. Your money is not hers to use.
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    That said, you should stop giving her the silent treatment, bc that's about as mature as what she did. It doesn't take much to say "listen, i'm really irritated that you presumed I'd just cover the dinner without asking me first. I need some space to think this through and we can talk later."
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    ReviewOk929 • 22h ago • But no she expected me to pay it NTA - Anyone who "surprises" you by making/expecting you to pay the bill is the no matter how much you earn, it's just a thing to do
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    Training Dearest 22h ago • NTA. Your income has nothing to do with it. Your girlfriend was an AH for not discussing this with you at all. She was the host, she made the plan and she invited the guests. It even seems like she communicated to them that they were not expected to pay anything... yet at NO point did she communicate any of this with you. This is a red flag, and if this is indicative of her true character, then it's a relationship-ender.
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    . hubertburnette • 22h ago NTA. Your gf has shown you who she is. Believe her.
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    • mousepallace 22h ago • NTA. It's not that you wouldn't have been generous, just that she was completely taking you for granted. You had every right to be upset. Presumably she told all her guests that you'd be paying. before hand. It's easy to be flash with other people's money.
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    • RoyallyOakie · 22h ago • NTA...That's too much money to not have a prior conversation. If your girlfriend isn't apologetic about this, then you know what kind of person she is.
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    Electrical-Ad-2785 22h ago • . Funny how money is not an object when you get to spend other people's money. You are not married...and it is time for a long talk.

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